Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Episode 11: In Which we waste Your time

Asshole: Hello and welcome to episode number eleven of the Smart Weiter’s Blog, 2, the second of our exclusive double digit episodes which will run out shortly after 99. This also happens to be the first episode in which there are two numbers that happen to be the same, consequently, if you add those two numbers together, you get two. Whereas if you multiplied them by each other, you’d get half of that. And if you drink a bottle of tequila and come into work, your brain reaches far and in dark places for anything to spit out. This room is spinning. Oh fuck me…so yes, this is episode eleven and it’s kind of a shit one, wherein we interview someone we’ve already interviewed who consequently doesn’t even have a new book to push.

Andrew: It’s coming, but yes, this isn’t so much an interview as it is a check in with people.

A: They await with abated breathes.

Andrew: So we do have new interviews coming. We have a few authors lined up but obviously it takes time to find someone, read their book and then do the interview back and forth over a few days, so it’s a process. That being said, I’ve asked Mario Karloff to start doing a review section for the show. He won’t be reviewing indie books yet, but rather professionally published stuff. I’m trying to convince him to do indie authors books but he’s arrogant. So yeah, more content, hopefully closer together.

Brim: I hear your putting together some commercials?

A: What? I’m not acting jackass. Especially since I’m not getting paid.

Andrew: I’ve been wanting to do some commercials for a while but can’t get the actor or the time to fit into my schedule just yet. Hopefully, come this summer we’ll have a few up on the blog.

B: Did you want to talk about Binks at all?

Andrew: Just that it’s an Easter Holiday book for kids, around 3-7. Really quick, my two year old didn’t want to read at all. I’d gotten to him too late so he never wanted to sit down with me. But I knew he really liked old school monster movies because I watch them so much. So I wrote the first Binks book for him with Frankenstein in it, and now the Easter one has Dracula in it. Their fun and I’m getting better at the pictures so that’s exciting. Plus my wife has really taken the colors to a whole new level. I don’t know how she does that with colored pencils.

A: You should see what she does with bananas.

Andrew: I’ll kill you.

B: What’s the status of Skull & Angel 2?

Andrew: First edits are done. Cover is being worked on. Still probably a month to go on it. Maybe more. I’ve got classes, we’re moving, there was a fire at our apartment building and we just had our second son in December so everything’s kind of crazy at the moment but its coming.

A: I feel as though I should ask about the Afterworld series, you know, the one that actually sells.

Andrew: Haha…uhh, I was writing the first draft of the second book and I…it was just not the style I wanted so I jumped ship at 25,000 words. I’ve reworked it in my head and will probably have to cut half of what I have but yeah, it’s the next big project after S&A 2 is done.

B: Going back to Mario invading our space, was there anyone else jumping on to do articles?

Andrew: I’m open to the suggestion. Obviously I don’t want people to contribute interviews or reviews (Unless their indie books!) but anyone writing for this show needs to have the uhh…smuttiness that you two carry with you so well.

A: I shat after I beat it yesterday.

Andrew: See, that right there.

B: So if someone’s interested in contributing a monthly or weekly article, how would they contact you?

A: Consider yourself spammed mother fucker.

B: Thanks for coming on. Was there anything else you wanted to say?

Andrew: Just that we will have a new interview coming to you soon and sorry for this informal thing this week.

B: Thanks. Look for PI Binks: The Mystery of The Befuddled Easter Bunny soon and check back here in a week or so.

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